Sir Leigh Teabing today announced his possession of a lost page from the Prophecies of St. Malachy, which set out the succession of Popes.
“I found the restored page at a bookstall in Rennes whose keeper assured me that it was liberated from the secret archives of Opus Dei. Since Rome attempted to suppress it, it must be genuine.”
The missing page shows that far from looking for “the last pope”, Gloria Olivae is followed by Bonum Graecus Aeriale.
Commentators immediately pointed out that in Spanish “Greek” is “Griego”, which is corrupted to “gringo”.
“While most of our audience think that ‘gringo’ means only those from north of the Rio Grande,” wrote Todd Unctuous, in South America, especially Argentina, it means people fresh off the boat from Europe… most likely Italian.”*
Thus, the missing passage foretells the election of a “gringo” from “Good air”…. or BUENOS AIRES!
Teabing declines to reveal the following entries, but said “Better not try betting against me during future conclaves.”
The Holy Roman Emperor Marcus Sheavius proclaimed “This is a prime example of the desparate reaching of anti-apocalyptic woowoos!”
* If you don’t believe this, turn to the Argentine national epic, “Martin Fierro“…
“… for no one could speak his lingo.
” A ‘Pap-o-li-tano’ he said that he was,
” Which I take it is some kind of gringo.”
“The members who composed it were, seven-eighths of them, office-holders, office-seekers, pimps, malignants, conspirators, murderers, fancy-men, custom-house clerks,
contractors, kept-editors, spaniels well-train’d to carry and fetch, jobbers, infidels, disunionists, terrorists, mail-riflers, slave-catchers, pushers of slavery, creatures of the President, creatures of would-be Presidents, spies, blowers, electioneerers, bawlers, bribers, compromisers, lobbyers, sponges, ruined sports, expell’d gamblers, policy-backers, monte-dealers, duelists, carriers of conceal’d weapons, deaf’ men, pimpled men, scarr’d inside with vile disease, gaudy outside with gold chains made from the people’s money and harlot’s money twisted together; crawling, serpentine men, the lousy combings and born freedom-sellers of the earth.”
There is no known cure for this addiction, largely because no one asks to be cured.
He is now being questioned to determine whether he put the bomp in the bomp-bomp-bomp.
Do they have to keep calling him “Mr. Zopittybop-Bop-Bop”? I think this is cruel and unusual punishment (for the police).